Thursday, August 8, 2013

What is happiness?

Aug. 8, 2013

Do you ever sit and let your mind drift to places unknown or with no thoughts at all; just listening to the quietness. As I get older; I enjoy these quiet times more. It refreshes my soul. There is times in my life that I can go through the whole day without turning on the television or even music; just listening to the quietness and drinking it in. I love working with my dolls and creating in these quiet times.
  I think I am basically a loner. I can get lost in my own world. Even as a child I enjoyed playing alone and making up imaginary friends. I grew up in a family of girls but always cherished my time alone; drawing pictures and paper dolls. I enjoyed drawing elaborate wardrobes for my paper dolls.
 As I grew up; I started sewing my own clothes and have done so all through my life. I believe the quality is much better. I never liked taking short cuts with my sewing.
 I don't like exposing myself to people I don't respect. I don't like negative comments when they are unfounded. I have learned to hold my tongue in my later years as it is not wise to spout off without first analyzing the situation.  I find myself very uncomfortable in a group of people such as being at a large party. I  much prefer a small dinner party with another couple or two. I don't like being in crowds. It becomes very stressful for me. I feel like I am trying to please everyone; pretending to be enjoying the event when I would rather be alone.  That is not happiness for me. Some may think it is unusual that I enjoy so much time alone but I am being myself and not trying to please anyone else.
  I am learning it is best to find your own happiness within and not look to someone else to make you happy because that is not fair to that person or yourself. I must say I am becoming comfortable in my own skin and that has taken me many years to do. I will not rush to do things just because it is the popular thing to do or  someone else thinks I should or that I am not living a whole life because I am always creating and sewing.  People laugh when I tell them I am a shy person. I must be a good actor to fool so many. 
 I have learned to be grateful for all I have and feel blessed everyday that God has given me this gift.

1 comment:

Rachel Marie said...

Wow, well said. I can totally relate to what you're saying here! You are so good at writing, you have a way of pulling the reader into what you're feeling! Love you!